Podcast 04 – Deescalating an Extreme ‘Alien Invasion’

Hello, I’m Ron barber.

I am going to prove to you right here and right now that what you hear on this podcast is indeed stuff you never ever learned at the Academy. Oh, really? For example, does any Academy offer a single scintilla of guidance for cops who may someday need to use every deescalation skill at their disposal to deal with a possible invasion of alien?

True Blue by SGT. Randy SuttonIn his book, True Blu by SGT. Randy Sutton, shares the experience of Sergeant Robert Banks of the Stanislaus County Sheriff’s department in California. It seems then officer banks had just gotten his first full time job as a police officer at a post certified agency in the tiny town of Gustine in California’s central Valley. Banks says that during one week I got five calls from a man who was convinced there were invisible and possibly illegal space aliens in the attic of his home. Each time I responded, I assured him after the obvious drug influence evaluation that there were no aliens in his house.

On the day of his sixth call, I responded as usual and arrive to find the color on the rooftop with a shovel removing the tiles from his roof. I called him down and asked him what he was doing. He told me that the aliens were still in his addict and he was going to get them no matter what.

Now they train you in the Academy to always have a plan when you respond to calls and this time I was ready. I told him that I had discussed the alien problem with a proper state and federal agencies being the community oriented cop that I was and had learned that the authority is, we’re well aware of what was going on in Gustine. I said that it seemed for some reason the aliens from galaxy alpha beta had chosen Gustine as a staging area to kick off their invasion of earth and ultimate enslavement of all mankind. They were only waiting to find the exact location of the staging area before taking action. As I had been working closely with representatives of area 51 I told him I was given a tool with which to combat the team of aliens who were here to pave the way for the others to follow.

M P H industries. The maker of fine handheld law enforcement radar had been working with the federal government in the development of a new weapon to be used against the alien incursion. I told him that I had firsthand knowledge of the alien staging point and soul was given a temporary commission as an officer with the area 51 staff and had been provided with the weapon that would save the human race. He was captivated and dutifully followed me over to my patrol car and watched as I removed the instrument of the aliens defeat the MPH industries radiation emitting gun, which of course looked exactly like a normal radar gun, which had was we approached his house cautiously, placing the end of a power cord into my Sam Brown belt.

I began to destroy the alien invaders, aiming the gun at every crawl space, closet and cubby hole where the cunning and invisible aliens might be hiding. The color assisted me in the test by pointing out all of the areas in his home where he knew firsthand the aliens were holed up. After about five minutes, the special anti alien radiation emitting weapon had done its work and the aliens, I’m happy to say had been destroyed, weeping with gratitude.

The caller thanked me for saving him from the aliens and from assimilation into their ranks. I likewise thanked him on behalf of a grateful nation for the assistance he had provided and made it clear to him that he had saved mankind from certain enslavement. After my wholesale destruction of the alien invaders. I never received a return call of any kind from this gentleman and I’m sure he tells the story to this day of how he, with the help of a concern save humanity.

So as you can readily discern, deescalation can take many forms, shapes and substances, but as Sargent bank said, you always have to have a plan when you respond to calls because who knows where a well thought out plan of deescalation can work.

As a starter – May I highly recommend Line Of Duty’s full classroom presentation on Deescalation? This 60 minutes program touches on many crucial elements of deescalation, nonverbal communication, tone, stance, appearance, facial expressions, the crucial nature of active listening, using silence effectively, letting them build their own self esteem, how to change the subject if you must, thanking them again later. It’s all there in line of duties program De-escalation common sense tips for all cops available right now.

Until next time. That has been the Stuff you never ever learned at the Academy.

I’m Ron barber.

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