Podcast: If It Looks Like a Duck, and Quacks Like One–Look and Listen Again…

In an amazingly good book of short stories called “Sticky Fingers”, author J. T. Lawrence writes about a veteran police detective who’s investigating the murder of a husband seemingly by a much abused spouse who’s been beaten so severely her lips are double their normal size. One eye has been punched, totally shut and perhaps permanently lost, broken teeth, so many broken ribs the medicos haven’t been able to determine the exact number…a fractured pelvis, etc., etc.

All she’s been able to mouth in the E. R is “I killed him”–and as the cop is trying to maintain himself in the midst of such physical horror, he can’t help but wonder how many, many times this woman with “one beautiful eye” had been beaten before. How many ribs have been broken on top of how many ribs…how many times has she had one eye, or both, punched to near blindness? Continue reading Podcast: If It Looks Like a Duck, and Quacks Like One–Look and Listen Again…

Podcast: You CAN win a fight to the finish….here’s how!

I understand the fury, frustration and anger cops feel and generally agree with it. So what’s next?
We can whine, bitch, moan, or crawl under a rock… and do nothing. Retire, fade away. I’ve had it, I’m out of here or we can come out fighting, gouging, kicking and ripping the eyes out of a six foot six inch drunk on fentanyl who isn’t going down unless he rips your gun from your holster and blows the top of your F’ing head off.
Are young cops taught any more that if it comes down to their own life or death that, yes, gouging out a rat bastards eyeballs is on the table.
Does any academy instructor ever go there anymore? If you’re getting the shit kicked out of you and the dirtbag’s testicles are within reach, are recruits ever instructed to grab them and yank them right out of their sack? Continue reading Podcast: You CAN win a fight to the finish….here’s how!

Podcast: Next time you let a lowlife use the bathroom, think about Officer Melissa Jayne Schmidt

Over the many years, I have come to expect the criminal element to hide drugs, contraband, blades, handcuff keys, nail files, cellphones, liquid explosives, thumb drives, bullets and, yes, guns in every nook and cranny of their bodies. Every time I think about Officer Melissa Jayne Schmidt of the Minneapolis P. D. I wish she would have had some sort of portable scanner back on August 1st, 2002, but she and her backup officer didn’t. The rest is a tragic asterisk in law enforcement history. And as do so many incidents where cops tried to deal with the nuts and berries in the passing parade, questions remain, too. Continue reading Podcast: Next time you let a lowlife use the bathroom, think about Officer Melissa Jayne Schmidt

Podcast: Always Remember: Look Down in Sex Arcades


In a recent podcast of Stuff You Never Ever Learned At the Academy, a veteran cup told a rookie why he should always look up at the scene of a suicide.

Now, we’re going to tell you why you should always look down when you’re either an undercover vice cop or part of a raid at a so-called ‘sex arcade’.

A sex arcade is an establishment catering to every pervert’s dreams of complete and total sexual freedom, and many times it takes the term ‘anything goes’ and stretches it to virtually surreal proportions. Continue reading Podcast: Always Remember: Look Down in Sex Arcades

Exactly What is Felony Smoking?


What is a Felony Smoke?

Who would have ever thought that one move by a low life is virtually 100% proof positive that you’ve got a wanted subject on your hands? Somebody who’s violated parole, probation, et cetera, et cetera. And it’s not running from the police. It’s not fighting the police. It’s not limping off to the police. It’s a largely unconscious act that most criminals don’t even know they’re performing. It is the felony smoke you smooth felonies smoke, a term I’d never even heard until I interviewed Sergeant Adam Plantinga of the San Francisco P. D. Continue reading Exactly What is Felony Smoking?